


The Legacy Journals: Book Two

by Gothicsouthpaw30



Series: The Legacy Journals [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit-Non Canon
Genre: Chaos, Despair, Dis is lost, Emotional Turmoil, F/M, Family Drama, Fili is confused, Forbidden Love, Gen, Growing Up, Heartache, Jealousy, Longing, Loyalty, Multi, Other, Romance, Sexual Encounters, Siblings, Thorin is torn, Thorn Birds-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:24:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothicsouthpaw30/pseuds/Gothicsouthpaw30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forty-Six years have passed and while things have been good and free of turmoil...Thorin and Hadaza begin to realize something is changing in them both...and calling them together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

~~~***PROLOGUE***~~~  
“She’s meant to remain in your household. This will only…help to strengthen the bond.”

Dis squinted, looking at the runes splayed out on the counter top, and she sighed as she confessed: “I don’t understand…you mean our bond as a family?”

“Yes,” Oin confirmed, “In more ways than one but there is much chaos…and despair!”

“How can she be allowed to stay if that’s what she’s meant to bring?” Dis demanded, “There already been much chaos! Much despair!”

“She won’t cause it,” Oin explained, “She’s going to suffer through it.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FORTY-SIX YEARS LATER:

HADAZA’S JOURNAL ENTRY:

Thorin insists that I keep a journal, why, I can’t say…but just to stifle his bickering I’ve agreed to do it.

Dis remarked, after he’d gone of to his shop, that it all has to do with his belief that each person-members of his family-should keep a record of their lives.

I knew Thorin, though I love him dearly, had an ego…just not that big!

I’ve not much to tell…I’m of age as of last month (at least that’s what everyone thinks since my beard grew darker then).

I’ve started to work as a baker’s apprentice under the tutelage of, believe it or not, the toy maker’s brother.

Ever since I was a child, like Thorin, when ever Bofur (the toy maker) is around I feel safe and secure…surprises me he has no children of his own…or a wife for that matter!

It’s a fine enough job but it is a bit boring. I must confess that I hate having to clean crusty flour from underneath my finger nails each time I get home…but that’s a small price to pay given that, finally, Thorin relented (Dis helped) and allowed me to finally pursue something outside of the home.

Dis and I are…getting on. I suppose that’s the best and most honest way to put it…ours is an odd relationship. It’s like a student and teacher bond…and nothing else.

But I’m very close to Dis’ son Fili, he’s like a best friend, and there are times I feel like he’s the only one I can talk to about certain things.

Kili, on the other hand, is just like-what I assume-is an annoying little brother who pulls my hair and breaks wind whenever I’m around just to see if he can send me from room to room.

All in all…it’s a fine enough life.  
************************************************************************************************************************* “Boring isn’t it?”

Hadaza looked up from her journal and offered up a smile to Fili whom leaned against the doorway.

“You have one to?” Hadaza asked, closing the journal, “Thorin makes you keep a record?”

Fili nodded but leaned in and whispered: “I just draw in mine mainly!”

Hadaza giggled, closed her journal, and rose just as she remarked: “I thought Kili would be the one to do that!”

“Thorin gave up trying to press upon Kili the importance of our family legacy…after Kili got into mother’s wine and vomited all over his journal when he tried to start writing in it!”

“When did this happen?” Hadaza demanded with an amused grin, “Where was I?”

“Thankfully at the bakery,” Fili revealed, “Thorin came home, thought Kili was up to something, and so our dear brother tried to fool him by impressing him…it didn’t work!”

“Ah…so that explains why Kili was going with Thorin to his shop each day two weeks ago, right?”

Fili chuckled at Hadaza’s observation and nodded; “Don’t forget, there’s a new lock on the liquor cabinet, as well!”

As they left Hadaza’s room, Fili went to the coat wrack that stood next to the front door and took down his cloak.

“Fancy a walk? Before supper I mean?” He asked as he fastened his cloak, “Just through the market!”

Hadaza smirked and waved a hand; “I’ve got to get supper started,” She explained, “Chop the vegetables and slice the bread…besides Thorin’s due home any minute.”

“Hada,” Fili moaned, “Don’t you remember? It’s Thursday!”

Hadaza’s face fell, a wave of confusing emotions coursed through her, and she sighed heavily.

“Oh…I forgot.”  
************************************************************************************************************************* Thorin moaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Just there!” He ordered, “Just like that!”

He moaned again, stretched his legs, and thought to him self, that Madam or not…Jinna indeed possessed the most skilled hands of any dwarven lady he’d ever encountered!

“Master Thorin, may I ask you something?” Madam Jinna inquired after a few moments of listening to Thorin’s grunts and moans.

“If you want,” Thorin answered softly, “Just don’t stop!”

Madam Jinna chuckled, her hands remaining firm as they kneaded and explored, and she asked in a cheerful tone:

“You’ve come here every Thursday for the past five years… You’ve paid me handsomely each time…but only ever to have your shoulder’s rubbed? Do you never have…different longings?”

Thorin sniffed, chuckled, and He questioned softly: “Do you desire to help quell such different longings?”

Madam Jinna, continuing to firmly rub the exiled king’s shoulders, snorted and had a merry laugh as Thorin sat and waited patiently for her to answer.

“That would be an honor indeed!” The Madam chuckled, just as Thorin held up his hand to cease the much-needed massage.

“As it is,” Thorin explained with a satisfied sigh, “I can take care of certain longings by myself…when I have to that is.”

“I can’t believe you won’t consider taking a wife!” Madam Jinna exclaimed as she rose from the bed and went over to her vanity, beginning to count her payment from Thorin.

“You’re so handsome…a child by you would be gorgeous!”

“I’ve no desire to raise children here,” Thorin confessed, and then he pointed to his head and added: “My youth is fading as well…but I think my gray is owed to the fact that I do have a responsibility to my nephews and ward…obviously it’s quite tiring!”

“How is she by the way? Hadaza I mean,” Jinna inquired as she started to recount her coins, “She’s turned into quite a beauty! I’ve noticed that when she’s in the market, many gents stop and stare.”

Thorin’s face went flat, he scratched at his beard, and he replied: “As have I…but she’s far too young to be courted.”

“I was courted by four strong and… very passionate dwarves at that age!” Jinna argued, “You just wait…soon they’ll be knocking at your door and pleading with you~”

“If I paid you for a suck, would you be quiet?”

Jinna, caressing the coins in her hand, turned and offered a disbelieving smirk to the dwarf, younger than she, and she asked softly: “You’d pay me to do that? After what you just said?”

Reaching into his pocket, Thorin tossed another coin upon the bed and, as Jinna studied it, Thorin offered:

“ Let’s just say you did. I’ll pay to give some honesty to your…bragging rights. But just this once! I’ll see you next Thursday Madam!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin returns home and is caught of guard.
> 
> Dis dictates her fears and concerns in her own journal.

~~~***PROLOGUE***~~~

“What chaos? What despair?”

Oin observed the stones, running a pudgy finger under his nose as he thought, and at last he mumbled: “Think of the girls trials as this; She will one day stand in the middle of a vast wood and will have to choose between going one way or the other.

…Not knowing what effect it will have on her…or anyone else. Especially Thorin it seems!”

“You’re not making any sense!” Dis sighed impatiently, “You’re usually much better at this!”

“Rune stones often give me little to make sense of!” Oin pointed out, “The best I can see…There is a reason the girl is there, a reason she will suffer, and it’s all to do with Thorin!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It was past supper when he’d returned home, the fire had burned low, but there was still a light illuminating from her room.

“Hadaza,” Thorin called softly as he rapped on her door just as delicately, “You should be in bed, little one.”

Hadaza, seated at her desk and reading, looked up and offered a faint smile. 

Though she was obviously not a dwarrow any more, Thorin still persisted with the endearing term, it was something Hadaza always found touching given he referred only to her with such a sentimental moniker.

“I just wanted to wait up for you,” Hadaza explained as she closed her book and rose from her chair, “You were gone a lot longer this time.”

As she had been, ever since returning home all those years ago, Hadaza was ever vigilant. Especially when Thorin was not around.

She worried constantly about him when he was away, and doted on him when he returned home.

“Well, I’m home now and headed to bed, as you should too,” Thorin replied at last, then his eyes befell the gown in the corner and he smirked.

“It’s finally finished?” He asked as he strolled forward to examine it’s delicate patterns and flawless seams, “You and Dis did quite well.”

“Actually, Dis did very well,” Hadaza confessed as she came to observe her gown beside Thorin, “I can play a harp well enough…but I’m sad to say I will never master a thread and needle!”

“Well, it will look beautiful on you,” Thorin insisted, “Red is your color and…”

Thorin’s words caught in his throat when he looked down at Hadaza; spying the delicate curve of her breast, the top of her night gown being unlaced, a powerful longing shot down from Thorin’s mind and into his groin.

“And what?” Hadaza asked, bringing Thorin from his thoughts, “You trailed off.”

“Um…I think you’ll have grand time, tomorrow, I think many will want to dance with you when you arrive wearing such a lovely gown!”

Hadaza chuckled, then yawned behind her hand, and replied: “Maybe. I’m not good at dancing either!”

Thorin kissed Hadaza’s cheek tenderly, and bid her to bed, worried she would see how he suddenly had gone quite red faced.

“Sleep for now,” He advised, going over and pulling the covers on her bed back, “Tomorrow we’ll deal with your fears as best as we can.”

After he’d extinguished her candles, after she’d crawled into bed as he closed the door, Hadaza lay in darkness and wondered.

Why had He become so nervous, so suddenly? 

He even blushed!

Hadaza gasped suddenly, her fingers flying up and quickly lacing the front of her gown closed! 

She’d forgotten again and…was her negligence the reason for Thorin’s sudden discomfort?

Suddenly, Her own humiliation disbanded, and Hadaza found her self curiously pleased and, oddly enough, flattered.

For when she recalled it, She remembered how interested Thorin’s gaze had been before he’d quickly urged her to bed.  
****************************************************************************************************************************She’s growing. 

Thorin has noticed, and the way in which he has, I begin to think of the old healer’s reading years ago.

What is more disconcerting…I begin to notice Fili’s gaze has changed drastically from when he was a child and used to stare at her.

Chaos…and despair that’s what Oin had seen, but I begin to think it will be other’s, because of her, that will suffer such dark times.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the Eve of Hadaza's first social dance since coming of age, Thorin worries...and discovers something shocking (and possibly offensive?) in Fili's own journal.

THORIN’S JOURNAL ENTRY:  
Tonight Hadaza will be attending her first social dance.  
I would be lying if I said I was happy for her.   
It is quite the opposite.  
I don’t like the idea of some…idiot, youthful male trying to worm his way into that sweet girl’s untarnished heart.  
Half the reason I agreed to supervise the event with other elder’s was specifically because I plan on keeping a sharp eye on her.  
I…dreamed her of her last night. It was such a dream…that I dare not share the details within in these pages.  
My heart and mind are greatly troubled, ever since I spied a part of her secret flesh.  
If she can so captivate me in such a forbidding way…I can’t help but wonder what will become of her…this delicate and loyal person…if I ever let her out of my sight.  
*******************************************************************************  
“Hold still!”

“You’re pulling!”

“You keep moving you silly girl!”

Hadaza sighed and struggled to remain seated while Dis styled her difficult hair.

“Why haven’t you braided your beard?” Dis asked softly, “We can’t only have half of your head styled! That’d look sloppy!”

“I thought to leave it as it is,” Hadaza confessed, “You know…just simple.”

“You’re a member of our family,” Dis pointed out as she finished curling lock’s of Hadaza’s hair, “We don’t wear our beards loose! Besides…don’t you want to impress your future sister-in-law?”

“What?” Hadaza asked as she turned her head, only to have t forced straight by Dis’ hands, “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t recall?” Dis asked with a chuckle, “it was quite funny…a few days when you got home…when I apologized for my recklessness, you told me there was nothing to apologize for, because it wouldn’t do to be angry at your future sister-in-law!”

“Oh!” Hadaza squeaked as Dis finished one braid and started on another, “I’d completely forgotten about that!”

“Either way,” Dis sighed, “I won’t allow you to wear your beard loose! Come on then, turn around and face me!”

Hadaza groaned and did as she was ordered, but not before stating: “It’ll take less effort to get into my gown!”

“We pay little attention to clothing,” Dis debated, “Our hair and beards are what we take into account!”

“I…I just don’t think people will want to dance with me!”

“Of course they will,” Dis laughed, “You’re a great beauty!”

“Not as beautiful as you though,” Hadaza pointed out, and Dis’ hand stilled just as they began to style Hadaza’s fine beard.  
It was true, compared to her, Hadaza wasn’t considered a grand beauty.

Dis was pale with flowing black hair, with a silky beard to match, not mention she possessed deep, fierce amber eyes.

Hadaza, the poor girl, her skin was tanned and her hands were calloused from heavy labor as a child, and her dark auburn hair was straight and dull.

Not to mention the girl’s beard was also straight and seemed to only grow on the side of her oval face and no where else.

But She’d a brilliant smile with good teeth and glittering blue-green eyes, not to mention Dis admitted, a sharp wit and a depth of wisdom that seemed older than Hadaza her self.

“Don’t be silly,” Dis at last scolded gently, “You’re very beautiful Hada, you must believe that your self, or other’s will not be able to see it at all.”

“If you need help with that,” added a deep, gruff voice from behind the two of them, “Then I can assure you that everything my sister says is indeed true!”

Dis and Hadaza both bowed there heads as Thorin entered the dining room, and he observed the young dwarf for a moment before saying to his sister: “Don’t cover her ears, She has pretty ears, also they will not see her clasp!”

“I’ll have to start all over again!” Dis griped, and Hadaza moaned. 

“It will only take a moment!” Thorin pointed out with a laugh, “Besides, Fili and Kili aren’t ready to go as they insist on taking their time…their beauty pales in comparison to your own Hada!”

Dis scoffed and Hadaza snorted, while Thorin offered only a wink and a bow of his own as he took his leave of the two women.

“Well, that’s that!” Dis huffed, “Let me fix your hair to show off those pretty ears of yours!”  
***************************************************************************************************************************  
“Whatcha drawing now, brother?”

Fili flicked his wrist at his nosey sibling and quipped: “Finish getting dressed or we’ll leave you here and go have all the fun our selves!”

“Oh please! Kili spat, “You know I’ll be the one getting all the pretty girls! You? You’re just going to stand in the corner like you always do!”

“Not this time,” Fili announced, “Thorin himself is going to chaperone with the others tonight…so we’ll see who gets all those pretty girls you mentioned in a tizzy!”

“Neither of you will be able to do that,” Thorin pointed out, “The longer Kili takes to groom himself!”

Fili, suddenly uneasy, jumped to his feet, slammed his journal shut, and tucked it under his pillow.

“All done!” Kili announced as he straightened his dark blue tunic for what seemed the hundredth time, “I’m ready to go!”

“Me too!” Fili agreed, though Thorin’s gaze upon him remained questioning and the young dwarf prince cleared his throat and waited for his uncle to speak.

“Well, go and see your mother,” Thorin urged, “She’d like to see the both of you looking so well groomed!”

When they’d obeyed and gone to greet their mother, Thorin wasted no time, and quickly went to Fili’s bed and retrieved the boy’s journal.

He wasn’t one to pry, always trusting the oldest of his nephews, but his reaction had left Thorin suspicious and, most of all, worried.

Was the boy in some kind of trouble?

Flipping through his journal, Thorin’s disappointment grew, as he observed half-hearted entries and childish, obscene doodles.

Yet suddenly, his eyes went wide, he sucked in his breath, and he froze as he observed Fili’s newest drawing.

It was an immaculate profile of Hadaza.

Without really thinking, Though he would question his actions for many days to come, Thorin quickly ripped the drawing from the journal, and tucked it into his pocket.

“Foolish!” He muttered as he stuffed the journal back under Fili’s pillow, and headed toward the noisy, quick chatter that echoed from the dining room.


	4. Chapter 4

~~~***PROLOGUE***~~~

“My sons…they’re involved in this misery you see?”

Oin sigh and nodded slowly; “But…the pain is superficial. There will be no lingering wounds for either of them.

Dis huffed and rubbed her temple as she thought.

“I don’t like the idea of her causing them any sadness!”

“Boys are boys,” Oin pointed out, “She won’t be the cause and as I’ve said…she will be going through just as much as they will-More so!”

“She had a privileged life!” Dis argued, “How will she suffer so?”

“Because she suffers through it for him. Only for him.”  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
She truly was…Beautiful.

Smiling, laughing, and spinning merrily with out a care in the world.

He caught himself smiling, envious, and he cast his eyes to the ground and enjoyed the music for a few moments more.

“A fine turn out,” The dwarf lord, Balin, observed as he came and stood next to Thorin.

“Am I correct, Thorin, in thinking that that one is little Hadaza?”

“Not so little, I’m afraid,” Thorin confessed, “She came of age last month…I thought she’d like the opportunity to mingle with other youths.”

“Aye,” Balin agreed, “Considering the attention she’s captured this night…she’ll have many suitors!”

Something in his words caused Thorin to grimace and he then stared into his cup of wine.

“She has…been busy this night,” Thorin observed, “It helps that she was taken in by me and my kin.”

“True,” Balin agreed, “But she is spirited! That is what also has drawn so many to her!”

Just then, when the music had ended and another intermission had been called, Hadaza strolled over to where Balin and Thorin stood and offered them a bright smile.

“Ye have been quite sought after, this night, Sweet Hadaza!”

Hadaza blushed, bowed toward Balin, and said with a laugh: “So much so…I think I will sleep the day away tomorrow!”

“Surely not before you dance with me?” Someone asked as He came and stood beside  
Sada.

Offering his own polite bow to Balin, Fili smiled and offered his arm to Sada, and then asked: “If that would be alright?”

“It is,” Sada started to say, taking his arm, “I wouldn’t mind it at all as long~”

“Looks like Thorin isn’t the only one showing a nothing pity!”

Sada’s hands dropped from Fili’s arms, and just as the angry young dwarf moved to defend her, it was Thorin who lunged forward.

“You!” He spat, grabbing the back of the boys tunic with one hand, “I wondered if you-Dalbor’s son-would be any trouble for us!”

To all that stood watching, their shock was as silent as their stilled tongues, just as with his other hand Thorin slapped the boy hard.

“Do not disrespect her!” He spat, forcing the humiliated dwarf to look at him; “She came of her own free will to give those less than her a chance to be happy!”

Just then, two other adult and male dwarves stepped through the gathering crowd, and Thorin wasted no time in flinging the juvenile dwarf at them.

“Send him home!” He ordered with a scowl, “He doesn’t the possess the manners to be here among ladies!”

When the guards, pulling the resistant boy, had disappeared Thorin turned and observed his nephew, Sada, and Balin.

With a sigh he offered: “Forgive me, I hope I haven’t ruined the evening!”

Balin chuckled, placed his arms behind his back, and only smiled as He shook his head.

“Those people always cause trouble,” Fili added with a shrug, “You were right…He shouldn’t have insulted Sada!”

Thorin smirked and then looked at the red-faced girl, wondering why she seemed so worried.

“You won’t get into any trouble, will you?” She at last asked softly, “He was mad at me because…I chose to dance with someone else before him.”

“Of course not! Thorin will be alright,” Fili pointed out as the music started up again, “Now let’s get back out there and…”

Just then Thorin took one of Hadaza’s hands in his, and guiding her around and away from his nephew and friend he asked gently: “Will you dance with me?”

Hadaza smiled, touched, and nodded her answer just as Thorin took her into the dancing crowd.

Watching them go, a small smile on his aged face, Balin then looked at Fili to speak to him. But his smile faded instantly when he observed Fili’s deep frown and pained expression.

“He's only making up for the disturbance lad,” Balin tried to explain, “It would have been rude for her to turn down Thorin any ways. Ye can still dance with her!”

Before He could reply, His brother Kili appeared pushing through the crowd, his eyes bright and his smile was one of excitement.

“Vel’s daughter’s have agreed to meet us!” Kili whispered to Fili as Balin took his leave, “Later tonight!”

Fili sniffed, offered a tight-lipped smile to his young sibling, yet said softly: “Not me…you can have them both if you like. I think I’ll go home.”

As he took his leave, Kili gawking at him as he went, Fili stopped, turned, and then dared to look through the crowd until he spotted them.

Sada was resting against Thorin’s shoulder all while the exiled king, his uncle bore, the faintest of smiles on his face.  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
“Fili? Why are you home so early?” Dis inquired as she came from the dining room to greet her son, “I thought you’d stay until the end!”

“I grew tired of it,” Fili lied, “I’ve been to so many of those silly things any ways!”

Dis smirked and swatted her son on the arm with the book she’d been reading; “Out with it!” She ordered, “You can’t hide things from me, boy, what’s troubling you?”

“Nothing, mother, I swear it!” Fili said as he rubbed his stinging arm, “I’m just tired. Good Night!”

She allowed Fili to pass her, said her own good night, and when she heard the door to his room close Dis inhaled deeply. 

She’d have to speak to Thorin, that much she knew, and so retired back into the dining room to wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weak chapter but...'meh!' it'll pick up.

PROLOGUE:  
“Him?” Dis asked, then her eyes widened. “You mean Thorin, don’t you?”

Oin nodded and Dis couldn’t help but chuckle coldly.

“My brother is far too concerned with dreams of glory! He even keeps his beard short, for many reasons yes, but also to dissuade any lustful females.”

“Long beard or short,” Oin pointed out as he studied the stones, “Thorin’s heart is many things…as time passes he will find it is no longer his own. There is something…something that will open his eyes to the reality of the situation.”

“That…is that the good thing you see, then?” Dis inquired, “Thorin falling in love and, hopefully, giving up our father’s hope of reclaiming our homeland?”

Oin studied the runes intently, saying nothing, and he remained so for a very long while.  
**********************************************************************  
Something was wrong; She’d sensed it the night she’d come home after the dance.

Dis had called Thorin to the dining room just after ordering her and Kili to take them selves to bed.

She couldn’t pick up any of their words, but every so often she’d heard Thorin raise his voice, and they’d argued for some time before Thorin at last stomped off to his own room for the night.

Now today, as it had been for previous four, She was certain it had to do with her given Dis’ short temper and angry orders as She struggled to perform her usual chores.

“Lady Dis,” Hadaza sighed at last when the elder dwarf had slapped her hand for not cutting the carrots the way she’d wanted her to, “what have I done?”

“Nothing,” Dis answered quickly, “It’s what you haven’t done that has so displeased me!”

Hadaza wrinkled her brow, studying Dis’ hard stare, and finally bowed her head and began cutting the carrots.

“That’s not the way I want them for the stew!” Dis complained, “Here, move, I’ll do it myself!”

“Dis,” Hadaza mumbled, “I don’t understand!”

“Of course you don’t!” Dis replied with a sigh, “That’s what happens when you don’t take your actions into account! That’s what happens when you don’t consider the feelings of others!”

“Dis…” Hadaza started, looking about nervously, “I-I’m sorry if I caused you any offense and~”

“Oh!” Dis groaned, “Just go away! Run to your room and hide your face in a book! Go!”

Hadaza stared at her feet for a moment, and then when Dis made an impatient sound, the young dwarf scuttled away.

But instead of going to her room, like she always did when things seemed bad between her and the Lady of the house, Hadaza grabbed her cloak and slunk out of the front door.  
***********************************************************************  
“Thorin, ye should well stay here fer now, besides…it is only rumor!”

“I cannot just ignore this! I must go!”

Hadaza hid from sight, just as the arguing ceased, and Lord Balin stomped from Thorin’s shop with a foul look upon his face.

‘Another argument?’ Hadaza wondered as she watched the old dwarf disappear into the market place crowd, ‘and what is Thorin going on about?’

She wasted no time, stopping just inside the doorway, watching him as He worked at his anvil for a moment, Hadaza finally let him know she was there by clearing her throat.

“You should know by now,” Thorin chuckled, “That I know your steps Hada!”

Hadaza chuckled and when Thorin turned, bidding her to come forward, she noticed his hand was bandaged and swollen.

“Thorin,” She gasped softly, “Your hand! What happened?”

“Oh…it’s nothing,” the exiled King sighed, “I wasn’t paying attention and suffered quite a burn.”

“Ouch,” Hadaza hissed through her teeth, “and you just went right back to work?”

“Oh, it doesn’t hurt that much,” Thorin confessed, clenching his bandaged hand a time or two to make his point, and he smiled then.

“What brings you from home?” He asked as he turned and went back to his work, “I was just about to head back there as it is.”

“Oh…Dis wanted to handle supper on her own,” Hadaza explained, “So I decided to come and wait until you were done with your work. We could walk back home together then.”

“A spat?” Thorin questioned, the humor obvious in his voice, “You know you cannot hide things from me!”

“It was nothing,” Hadaza explained, “Much like your injury…it will heal it self.”

Thorin chuckled, thrust his newest creation into a bucket of water to cool, and then turned to face the young woman as he began to wipe his hands clean.

“But what was it about?” Thorin asked gently, “You needn’t be afraid to tell me.”

Hadaza shrugged then, just as Thorin came close and pushed a loose lock of her hair behind her ear, making sure it was not covered from view.

“I can’t say,” Hadaza confessed, “She…I don’t know…something about me being inconsiderate.”

Thorin frowned then just before he leaned and kissed Hadaza’s forehead; “Do not let it trouble you,” He advised, “You’ve known for many years that if she feels you’ve offended either of her sons she becomes protective and rather unreasonable.”

Hadaza jerked as if stung by a bee, and she wrinkled her brow as she asked: “I…I offended Fili and Kili? How?”

“You didn’t,” Thorin answered with a smirk, greatly befuddling the young dwarf, “She only thinks you did. It was me that offended her.”

“What do you mean?” Hadaza pressed, “You didn’t do anything that I can think of.”

Thorin smiled and tugged playfully at Hadaza’s thin bead; “Don’t concern yourself with my troubles,” He sighed, “Now…help me clean up will you? Then we’ll go!”

“Alright,” Hadaza conceded, “But…may I inquire as to what you meant by telling Mr. Balin what you did just as I arrived?”

Thorin laughed loudly as he turned and tapped Hadaza firmly on her nose; “What did I just say to you?”  
********************************************************************************************************  
Fili was laying on his bed and looking up at the ceiling, pulling at one of the braids woven into his fine beard when his mother knocked and entered.

“Supper is ready, darling,” Dis announced with a kind smile, “Come and eat with me and Kili.”

“No thank you, mother,” Fili answered dully, “I’m not very hungry.”

“Oh, look here Fili, it won’t do to have you moping about!” Dis chided as she came and sat beside her melancholy son, “I talked to Thorin and you won’t be humiliated in that manner by him again and especially not by Hadaza!”

“Hadaza didn’t humiliate me!” Fili spat suddenly, sitting up on his elbows. “it was Thorin that pissed me off!”

“Fili!” Dis gasped, “Language, young man!”

Fili scowled, much to Dis’ shock, and before any argument could ensure, the oldest of her boys rolled off his bed and headed out of the bedroom.

“I’m going for a walk!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on his walk, to clear his head, Fili comes upon a shocking sight.
> 
> Mean while, Dis become worried for son, especially where the future is concerned.

He couldn’t be, not her own son, She wasn’t worthy of him!

No where near his equal in any way or form!

‘The little brat!’ Dis thought angrily, “Too blind by her own selfishness that she can’t see the damage she’s done to my poor boy!’

Things had been quite well over the years, even Dis had to admit, Thorin had been right.

Hadaza had brought much joy into their home and to her sons.

But now…now that seemed to fading away and her sons own heart seemed ready to break.

Thorin was and would not be of any help, Dis already knew that, given He’d angrily defended himself and Hadaza when they’d returned from the dance. Unaware that their disgusting behavior had humiliated the entire family…and wounded poor Fili.

Dis sighed then, recalled Oin’s reading, and she felt utterly lost.

As it was for all other’s, Durin blood or not, their lives were fated too and nothing could change that.

‘But,’ Dis thought just as the door opened and Kili called out for her, ‘How will her fate…bring glory and joy to my kin…if she’s already breaking the heart of the one that obviously loves her?’

********************************************************************  
Fili spotted them at the well, just standing before it and talking; yet, instead of joining them, he chose to keep himself hidden.

Seeing him with her caused such a flurry of anger and jealousy that Fili could hear his heart pounding.

Why did he always seem to want to keep her to himself?

Just then Hadaza laughed and, to Fili’s disgust, Thorin cupped Hadaza’s cheek and laughed with her, then He went to the well, taking Hadaza by her hand, as he did.

“I remember how you always use to stop and beg me for a coin,” Thorin recalled as he leaned and looked down into the wells deep blackness, “You always had a wish in mind!”

“Oh just one,” Hadaza admitted sheepishly, then blushed when Thorin cast he a curious glance.

“After we got back, when you brought me home,” Hadaza explained as she giggled, “Whenever we passed by this silly thing…I always wished that one day we’d marry.”

Thorin burst out laughing, obviously embarrassed, and Hada apologized even amidst Thorin’s protest that she not do so.

“A child’s fancy,” He chuckled, “Though you’ve grown to be a lot more adorable...but you talk too much.”

Hadaza laughed and swatted Thorin's arm, then with a pleasant sigh, she gazed down into the well, then looked up at Thorin as curiously as He had Her a moment ago.

“Have you ever made a wish?” She inquired, and Thorin looked at his bandaged hand as he thought, then he nodded slowly.

“To go home,” He honestly replied, “I wish it almost every day.”

Hadaza frowned, and brought her eyes back to the old well, wondering if Thorin’s mind was just as deep and mysterious.

“Shall we?” Thorin asked softly, and Hadaza looked up at him, smiling coyly, as her guardian patiently held out a coin to her.

Quickly Hadaza took the coin, thought for a brief moment, and tossed the coin into the well, listening until she heard the faintest sounds of splashing water.

“Goodness,” Hadaza observed, “How deep do you think this well runs?”

As she placed her hand upon the cool stone wall, and leaned in, Thorin came and did the same beside her, studying the crumbling well for a moment.

“Oh,” He sighed, “No telling…it’s been here for some time. What did you wish?”

Keeping her eyes down, staring into the still darkness, Hadaza mumbled sweetly: “That one day your wish would come true.”

Such was her sweetness, her devotion, and her love for him.

Thorin cupped her cheek again, his thumb caressing her soft flesh, and he realized she was much like how his mother had been with his dear father.

Utterly devoted until the day childbed fever took her from them all.

A secret desire he’d never felt so strong, until that very moment, welled up in the exiled king and for a moment he adored Hadaza’s beautiful features just before he began to slowly lean toward her.  
**********************************************************************  
“Well…I don’t know Mama, he’s not said anything to me, why do you ask?”

Dis offered her son another helping of stew, before refilling her own bowl, and calmly stated: "A mother worries. I’ve noticed how moody he has become.”

“Well you know how Thorin can be,” Kili explained with a full mouth, “Probably to do with how strict he’s become with Fili. He is next in line, after all, and he’s always lecturing and complaining and complaining and lecturing!”

“True,” Dis agreed, “I was just wondering if the two of you had gotten into some kind of trouble again.”

“Why? What have you heard?” Kili demanded with a nervous expression, and Dis enjoyed her laughter while her son shifted nervously.

“Eh…where is he any ways?” Kili asked, after gulping loudly, “ Fili I mean. As a matter of fact, where are Thorin and Hada?”

"Oh," Dis groaned, "They'll be home soon I imagine."


	7. Chapter 7

It was Hadaza whom took a step back from Thorin, her eyes fearful, and she stumbled over her words when she began to speak them.

“We…I think we should go home…if you don’t mind.”

Thorin shifted, looked at the hand that had cupped the woman’s soft cheek, and he nodded in agreement. 

“Well hello you two!” Called Fili, finally emerging from the shadows, “I’d thought the two of you would be home by now.”

“We were just on our way,” Hadaza explained, obviously grateful to see the blonde-haired dwarf.

“Me too,” Fili confessed, “Best get going…mother hates it when I’m not home to have supper with her!”

“You two go on” Thorin advised, and when Hadaza looked at him worriedly, Thorin smiled and touched her shoulder: “I’ve an errand to run.”

 

He watched them go until they vanished from his sight and when they had Thorin turned and leaned upon the well.

What had just happened?

With a deep sigh Thorin drew out another coin from his pocket, and after looking at it for a moment, He let it drop from his hand and fall into the deep darkness of the well.

 

“You saw what happened didn’t you?”

Fili hissed, and patted the hand that clenched his arm, and finally answered: “Yes. But don’t worry…I won’t say anything.”

“Poor Thorin!” Hadaza moaned, much to Fili’s devastation, “He must be so humiliated.”

“As he should be!” Fili spat quickly, but regretted it when he noted how pained Hadaza suddenly became at the choice of his words.

“Well…I mean…He overstepped himself is all,” Fili tried to explain, “It’s not for him to try and steal kisses from you.”

Hadaza chuckled, looked down at their feet as they walked, and at last confessed: “He wouldn’t have been stealing…but I knew I had to deny him.”

“He raised you like one of us!” Fili exclaimed, “It’s scandalous!”

Hadaza shrugged and admitted: “I’ve never thought of Thorin as a father, actually, he doesn’t seem to want me to think like that. He told me when I was little that it would be wrong to take my later father’s place.”

“Hada…do you feel for him?” Fili asked softly, feeling very nervous, as Hadaza grew silent for a long moment.

“…No…But…because He took me in, saved my life, that’s why I have always been so loyal to him.”

“Makes sense,” Fili admitted, greatly relieved at Hadaza’s answer, “I just thought…I mean you danced with him when you were supposed to dance with me.”

Hadaza burst out laughing, squeezed Fili’s arm, and said: “I’m sorry to have offended you…I just thought it would have been rude to refuse him! I’ll dance with you any time!”

Fili’s smiled returned and, as she feigned attention, he chattered on and on.

Yet, Hadaza dared a quick look over her shoulder, relieved to see that Thorin wasn’t there and had not heard her lies.  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
“I’ve stored supper away, you three will have to serve yourselves, I’m off to bed.”

Though Thorin glared, Hadaza and Fili said nothing, and went about serving themselves the last days meal.

‘Thorin, will you eat with us? I can make you a plate.”

Thorin smiled as Hadaza yet shook his head; “I’ve got to get to bed, I’ve much to do tomorrow.”

“Another large order to fill?” Fili asked, spooning some stew into a bowl, “From the butcher no doubt!”

“Well, not exactly,” Replied softly, “I’ve got to prepare some things as I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

“Leaving?” Hadaza asked just as she seated her self across from Fili, “Where to? The Iron Hills?”

“Dunland,” Thorin answered briskly, and he smirked when both his nephew and ward cast him surprised expressions.

“What’s in Dunland?” Fili demanded with a disbelieving laugh, “I hear the men there are savage!”

“You’re at least going to take Dwalin with you, right?” Hadaza then asked.

Thorin sighed, came and sat at the head of the table, and explained: “He will stay, Hada, here to keep watch over the lot of you. I’m going to Dunland…to investigate something personal.”

“But…even I’ve heard how bad some of those people in Dunland are,” Hadaza replied softly, “You can’t watch your own back!”

Thorin chuckled, while Fili seemed oblivious to the distress of Hadaza as he ate, and the exiled king gently explained: “I will not be directly in Dunland…I’ll be scouting the wilds that surround that place.”

“For what?” Hadaza questioned, “You can hunt here! It much safer and closer!”

Thorin grinned, shook his head, and after a moment of soft chuckling he rose and departed without a word.

“Well, that’s that!” Fili explained as he emptied his bowl, and Hadaza furrowed her brow and waited for the dwarf to go on.

“He’s not going hunting,” Fili revealed, “He’s going to look for someone he just can’t believe is really dead.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadaza devastates Fili while awaiting Thorin's return from Dunland.
> 
> But Little do they know that, their reunion with him, has unexpectedly been put on hold.

“I’ve never seen so many sad faces! Especially from my own kin!”

It was a poor joke, they all knew, yet still each of them tried hide their sadness then.

“You’ll see, I’ll be home soon enough, don’t worry!” Thorin advised, taking Dis’ hand and squeezing it in his before going to each of his nephews and embracing them.

When he came to Hadaza, as she expected he would, Thorin hesitated.

But Hadaza took the it upon herself and hugged Thorin about his shoulders, kissing his cheek lightly, before stepping back and returning Thorin’s shy smile with her own.

“Take care of one another,” Thorin advised, though his eyes remained fixed on Hadaza.

“We will, brother, and we’ll be waiting anxiously for your return,” Dis replied, “Do be cautious!”  
***************************************************************************************************************************  
“He must have really loved him, I mean, to be so dedicated…after all these years.”

Fili shrugged while he escorted Hadaza through the market place, on an errand for his mother, and He explained: 

“Mother just…she thinks the battle really wounded Thorin even deeper than the physical wound he’d received. She thinks his heart was broken and has never really accepted certain things.”

“He was wounded?” Hadaza asked softly, “Not even he’s revealed that much.”

“A shoulder wound,” Fili revealed, “Almost died…but that was-eh-because he refused to seek help until he knew what happened to our late uncle.”

“Frerin?” Hadaza guessed, and Fili nodded, “Do you…do you remember him at all?”

“Barely,” Fili confessed as he stopped to observe the selection of fish laid out before the vendor, “He smiled a lot. Not at all like Thorin…Mother says Kili is a lot like him.”

“Does that mean you’re a lot like Thorin?” Hadaza asked teasingly, but Fili frowned, and didn’t answer at first.

“Actually…Thorin once told me I’m a lot like my mother and father…a perfect mix he calls it.”

“I’ve not heard much of him either, your father, but from what you and Kili have told me he was a good person.”

“He was,” Fili recalled, “Very much a family person…then Thorin made him go with him and Grandfather to Moria.”

“But Fili,” Hadaza argued gently, “I was told by Balin that your Grandfather and Thorin only took those whom volunteered to go.”

“It would have been wrong for my father to decline,” Fili explained as he ordered certain fish from the vendor, “He was Thorin’s brother-in-law after all!”

Hearing the venom of his tone, Hadaza grew quiet, helping Fili load the bought fish into the basket she’d been carrying and remained still until Fili announced it was time to go.

 

They’d walked on; when they weren’t far from home, suddenly Fili sighed deeply and offered: 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap, that was my mother’s bitterness you heard.”

“It’s alright,” Hadaza confessed as they walked home, “I know it hurts. I think of my parent’s too.”

“So you’re not angry with me?” Fili asked, and Hadaza chuckled and waved her free hand, “Of course not! I never stay angry with you for very long! It’s been that way since we were both little!”

To her surprise, Fili took Hadaza’s free hand and moved to stand before her, something very unexpected, shimmered in his soft eyes.

“What?” She asked with a nervous chuckle, “What’s wrong?”

It was then, and her eyes widened, that Hadaza realized that something had in fact gone very wrong between herself and the one person, aside from Thorin, she trusted the most.

“Oh…Fili,” Hadaza started, just before she was cut off by the brush of his lips against hers.

She dropped the basket as she pushed herself free from Fili’s grasp, nearly lost her balance, and it took a moment for her to regain her composure before meeting the young dwarf’s offended stare.

“What’s wrong?” Fili asked softly, “I thought…I thought we felt the same after all.”

Her cheeks were burning and Hadaza looked away from Fili’s devastated expression.

“I…You’re like my brother…” Hadaza stammered, “But it…my love for you goes no further than that.”

Fili grunted took a few steps backward and Hadaza took a breath, as she thought over her next few words very carefully.

“We can’t ruin that,” She whispered at last as Fili shifted on his feet with his stare cast to the ground, “I’m sorry…but we just can’t.”

When she finally met his stare noting how red his cheeks had gone, spying the pain in his eyes, Hadaza quickly reached out to grasp Fili’s arm only to have her gesture rebuffed.

“Fili! Wait!” Hadaza implored as She watched Him hurry off.

Seeing that her pleas fell upon deaf ears, Hadaza swept up the basket of goods, and headed after the dwarf.

*****************************************************************************************************************************  
It had been utterly worthless!

He’d searched for days, barely getting sleep in stinking tree trunks, and He had eaten all of his provisions before having to hunt for rabbits and squirrels for nourishment. It wasn't until three days ago that Thorin, almost weeping, decided it was best to return to Ered Luin.

It had not been a complete loss, considering whom found him in Bree, but the revelation didn’t quell the pain in his heart each time he thought of the one He’d set out to find so many days ago.

He’d wasted so much money.

He’d lost so much time.

Worst of all, he realized with a deep sigh, it had taken him from her.

As quickly as her image came to his minds eye, shaking his head, Thorin banished the vision.

He couldn’t think of her, not now, it would only add to the furious storm of emotions that were bubbling up inside the Heir of Durin.

Just then, His pony whinnied, Thorin uncharacteristically cried out as the small beast reared.

His surprised, angry cries gave way to painful howls as he was thrown from his saddle and down into a narrow and dark gorge.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is terribly wounded, stuck in a hard spot, while at home both Hadaza and Dis are worried...but for two very different reasons.

PROLOGUE:  
“There will come a time…an awakening…and that’s when all things will seem to fall apart when in actuality, my lady, they’re finally going to come together over time.”

Dis sniffed, looked at the stones splayed on the counter, and shook her head slowly.

“Will…will we see signs?”

“Most assuredly,” Oin pointed out, “But even those are easily misunderstood.”

“What do you mean?” Dis demanded, “If there are to be signs then surely we will know them when they come!”

“Oh yes!” Oin agreed, “You’ve seen signs already! What’s important, in this matter, is how you-all of you-shall react when other signs become clear.”

“And if we see and act in a way that alters what fate really intends?”

Oin sighed and shrugged; “Then things will fall apart…and so will your entire household.”  
****************************************************************************************************************************  
Thorin hissed, bit back his cry, and after lightly touching the wound again, He was certain that his leg was broken; Sighing, he pulled his fingers from the protruding bone and moaned.

How long he’d lay, unconscious, he couldn't be sure but from what he could hear his pony was pacing to and from just above him.

“Hopefully he’ll stay until I find a way out of here so that I can beat him!” Thorin muttered with a grunt, “Stupid animal!”

Putting his bitterness for the pony aside, Thorin knew he had to do something about his wound, or let it lay open and susceptible to infection.

‘I should have listened to them,’ He thought as he struggled to sit up enough to begin ripping his cloak, ‘I shouldn’t have come out here by myself.’  
***************************************************************************************************************************  
“But he should have been back by now!”

“I know my brother, Hadaza, He says he’ll back on a certain day but that’s hardly ever the case in the end!”  
“Then why not send word?”

Dis sighed, rubbed her brow with her finger tips, and said with her teeth clenched:

“It’s fine Hadaza…It’s only been a day! Now, will you please, set the table for breakfast? Or would you rather go and prematurely mourn Thorin?”

Hadaza, her throat tightening even at the horrid thought, slowly nodded and squeaked her reply; going and grabbing the dishes from the hutch and doing as Dis had ordered.

“He probably got lost,” Dis offered from the kitchen where she was finishing the oatmeal, “My brother’s many things…but he lacks the skill to read the easiest of maps!”

‘She’s worried too,’ Hadaza thought, and found it helped relieve her own anxiety.

“Thorin is capable of almost anything,” Dis was saying as she came into the dining room with a steaming pot in her hands, “But taking directions? Oh no, not him, I’m afraid!”

Hadaza forced a chuckle as she began laying out silverware, politely encouraging Dis’ way of dealing with her own worry by saying nothing in reply, and only looked up when Fili entered the dining room.

“Good Morning!” Hadaza offered brightly but, just as he hand upon his arm had been refused, Fili cast her a cold glance before looking at his mother and asking:

“Has he gotten in yet?”

“No my love,” Dis Sighed, “But you know how your uncle can be.”

“Perhaps he’s dead and rotting.”

A spoon fell from Hadaza’s hand and clattered loudly to the floor, but it didn’t dull the sound of Dis’ horrified gasp as she glared angrily at her eldest son.

“Fili!” Dis exclaimed, “Don’t you dare say that about your uncle! He’s done much for you after all!”

“Yes he has,” Fili remarked coldly, “Fed me, clothed me, played with me…stole from me.”

“What are you talking about? Fili, what’s gotten into you, why say such mean things?”

Dis received her answer when her son glanced at Hadaza whom instantly began to set cups beside each plate, making sure not to meet either pair of the eyes that studied her briefly.

“Go and fetch your brother,” Dis ordered with a point of her finger, “Breakfast is ready!”

“He’s asleep,” Fili argued, “He only wakes up for you!”

“Drag him out by his ears if you must!” Dis insisted, “Go!”

 

When Fili had gone, Dis wasted no time, and followed Hadaza into the kitchen. 

“What happened?” She demanded coldly as she watched Hadaza slice bread, “He hasn’t been the same since I sent the two of you to the market!”

“I…I don’t know,” Hadaza lied, “He hasn’t said anything to me Dis and if I~”

“That’s a lie!” Dis spat, and Hadaza stilled slicing the bread and looked at the glaring elder nervously.

“It’s not!” Hadaza pressed, wanting nothing more than anything, to protect Fili’s pride at the moment. He had, after all, confided in Hadaza that his mother’s incessant protectiveness was beginning to annoy him greatly.

Dis was still glaring when she approached Hadaza, and the younger dwarf pressed her back against the wall, just as the other dwarven lady reached out gripped the curve of her ear.

Hadaza winced under the pressure; “Dis!” She whined, “Please that hurts!”

“When Thorin brought you back,’ Fili’s mother explained venomously, “I gave you this clasp back…a sign of how sorry I was and to also let you know I accepted you into this family!”

Hadaza gulped as Dis came within inches of her face, and hissed: “Do not make a fool of me or my sons!”

“Um…Ma…what’re you two doing?”

Dis released Hadaza at last, turned to face Kili, and replied brightly: “Nothing! We were just chatting! Are you ready for breakfast my love?”

Kili looked over Dis’ shoulder, watching Hadaza rub her ear and fight off the tears in her eyes, and offered only a small nod.

“Very good!” Dis chuckled, “Hadaza, slice the rest of that bread, and then go and clean up the wash room. We’ll save you a plate.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is as determined to find a way home just as much as Hadaza is determined to bring him there.

PROLOGUE: 

“You said something would occur…do you mean something specific?”

“An injury…one that will lead to many more,” Oin explained, yet Dis sighed and rubbed a hand over her mouth.

“An illness then?” She inquired just as her heart seemed to skip a beat, “Will there be death?”

To her great relief Oin shook his head.

Yet after a moment he offered his own sigh and explained softly:

“Something will happen to Thorin,” He foretold, “and because of it…I see injuries of the heart.”  
******************************************************************************************************************************

He woke when the sun broke over the horizon and warmed his face; aggravating the fever he knew he was developing.

Thorin groaned, flinched when he barely moved his wounded leg, and listened for a moment.

The pony, it seemed, had departed.

He had hoped the blundering animal would stay and linger above where he lay if only to, hopefully attract some passerby.

He was starving, sick, and when he touched his wounded leg he grimaced violently and Thorin wondered if he had indeed developed an infection.

In that moment, Thorin recalled, with a weak stomach all the miners that he’d spied whom had been unfortunate and maimed due to their work deep within the mountain.

In the end they were forced to hobble around, one leg or one arm missing, trying not to feel the weight of the uncomfortable stares that so many gave them.

Wiping sweat from his brow, Thorin took a deep breath, and for a good while shouted for help.

It wasn’t until he tasted blood that Thorin stopped shouting and bowed his head, fighting frustrated tears, and He began to wonder about the worst.

Fili and Kili would certainly feel the grief heavily, he’d been in their lives even before their own father had perished in battle.

Dis, and Thorin lay on his back as he chuckled, She would grieve as well. But, as was her way, she would also blame his blind determination to restore their family honor and homeland for his demise.

Then there was Hadaza…

When he envisioned the young dwarf, felt the pangs of guilt and grief stab at his heart, unexpected tears burned at his eyes.

That dear girl, his girl, would she feel utterly alone if he didn’t find a way home?

For so many years he had been her rock as she had secretly been his.

She’d been through so much, just because of him, and to abandon Hadaza now…

Thorin shuddered and wiped the sweat from his forehead away with the back of his hand before he looked up and looked at the early morning sun again.

He had to find his way back home!  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
She wiped the tears from her eyes, looking desperately from side to side, as she stood upon the front porch.

It was nightfall, the kitchen had been cleaned and the dishes had been washed and dried and put away. 

He still had not come home.

Gulping down the knot in her throat, it wasn’t until she felt her hand upon her own shoulder, that Hadaza released a sigh, and looked over her shoulder at Dis.

“He should’ve been back by now,” Hadaza explained in a tight whisper as Dis came to stand beside her, “there should have been some word even!”

“Yes,” Dis admitted softly with a sigh of her own, “This isn’t like him at all.”

“Perhaps we should send out a search party,” Hadaza suggested, “Maybe even get Lord Balin involved and~”

“Balin and his brother have gone to visit their kin,” Dis grunted, “I can think of no one to send!”

“There is Oin!” Hadaza pressed, “Plus Bofur-Thorin has always liked him!-not to mention Fili and Kili!”

“Hadaza!” Dis snapped, then she lowered her voice, took a moment and explained:

“Hada…You forget Bofur is the head of his family, taking care of an…unfortunate family member…and my boys are still just that. Kili is sick and even if Fili went~”

“Thorin would reprimand me for leaving the family unprotected.”

Dis turned and offered a reassuring smile to her eldest son while Hadaza kept her back to him; fighting back tears, and her own shock, that Thorin’s own nephew seemed devoid of any care for his missing Uncle.

“It’s too soon to worry,” Fili offered as Dis nodded in agreement, “Who knows…maybe he just got distracted by something else and decided to see it through before returning to us.”

“Without sending word that he would be delayed?” Hadaza argued, ignoring Dis’ rolling eyes and Fili’s cold snort of apathy.

“Give it one more day,” Fili advised with a wave of his hand, “One more day…then will send out Oin and Gloin to look for him.”  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
HADAZA’S JOURNAL ENTRY:

It cannot be helped...

I know that they’re all as worried as I but their lack of action has become too much.

I don’t care if they think he’s just gone off on some other ill timed errand, I don’t care if they want to wait, I will not!

I’ll wait until they’re all asleep and then go to the livery where I’ll get a pony.

I would rather go and search him out rather than remain here and await word that, had we acted sooner...Thorin would have survived.

I only pray that I will find him before it’s too late...

I pray that I haven’t lost him before all things between us have been settled...in the way I still hope they will be.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler Chapter.

PROLOGUE:  
‘From all you say, I am more confident than ever, to keep that little brat out of my home!’

Oin sighed, tossed the runes again, and shook his head.

After a moment he revealed: “She will be sent away-fate intends that-but to do so when it is not the right time…the girl is pivotal.’

“She sounds more like a pebble in my boot,’ Dis sighed as she rose, ‘True, she’s brought joy to my boys-even Thorin-b-but there’s so much darkness you’ve seen and all of it is just in one reading!”

‘’ad ye really listened,’ Oin explained as Dis started to go, ‘Ye would see that she is what is and will keep back a lot more darkness than has been revealed to ye this night!’  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
“What do mean she’s gone?”

Fili jutted his thumb over his shoulder at the closed door that led to Hadaza’s bedroom and answered: “I mean she’s not in there! She’s not in the house!”

Dis sighed as she began setting the table and muttered: “Probably out for a walk…worrying over things that are not her concern!”

“Yeah,” Fili sighed as he held up the letter until his mother met his eyes, “She took a really long walk!”

Dis moaned and after finishing setting the table, She straightened herself and stared from the note and then to Kili who’d entered the dining room.

Dis only gave a sniff as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Mother,” Fili started, “Aren’t you…don’t you care to know what she wrote?”

“Let me guess,” Dis sighed as Kili snatched the folded paper from his elder brother, “She’s gone off to find your Uncle?”

“Seems so,” Kili answered for Fili as he read the note, “But…how can she possibly know where to even begin looking?”

“She doesn’t,” Dis snickered, and then added softly: “Idiot girl!”

“We should go after her,” Fili urged as he jerked the letter from his brother’s hand, “She could get hurt out there all by her self!”

“She deserves whatever injury she receives!” Dis snapped, much to the astonishment of her young sons, though she showed no signs of regret over her harsh words.

“Had she not been so impulsive…I would have told her that this morning, that at my urging, Gloin and Oin both left at dawn to go and search for your uncle.”

“What?” Fili and Kili shouted in unison.

“You sent them?” Fili asked, and Dis nodded as she headed into the kitchen, her sons following after her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kili demanded next, “If you had said something soon Hada wouldn’t have felt the need to go off by herself!”

“I went to Dwalin last night while the lot of you slept,” She explained softly as she began to cut slices of fresh bread, “I thought it best to do so without your involvement.”

“But why mother?” Fili asked, “You didn’t have to keep it a secret!”

“I was hoping to keep you and Kili…even Hadaza, from getting all worked up and wanting to go with them,” Dis confessed without looking at her children.

“He’s our Uncle!” Kili protested.

“If you’d told us Hadaza wouldn’t have left!” Fili added shrilly.

“Because," Dis replied in a flat yet stern tone, "even though they’ve gone to fetch Thorin…all that they might bring back is his corpse. I didn’t want any of you to…have to see that.”

****************************************************************************************************************************

She was surprised at the time she’d made in the past few days, but then again, she was determined not to stop too often.

Finding Thorin was of the utmost importance and if that meant having to ride through both day and night, as she had been doing, then so be it!

She wasn’t going to return to the Blue Mountains and, no doubt, Dis’ wrath empty handed.

If she was going to have stomach another barrage of angry insults and lectures from Thorin’s sister it was going to be well worth it.

‘Besides,’ Hadaza told herself as soft smile graced her lips, ‘He did the same for you and you’re not even his kin!’

Yawning, rubbing at her eyes, Hadaza sighed and patted the pony’s neck. The poor beast was more than likely more tired than herself given she’d been forcing the dear creature to go far beyond it’s own desire for rest.

With that one simple fact in mind, Hadaza dismounted, and observed the lights of the village not more than ten miles in front of them.

Dunland.

She was amazed at how well her memory had served her.

Yes, she’d been smart enough to grab a map, but she still vividly recalled the road her parents had taken just before entering the forest surrounding Ered Luin.

The map, and Hadaza smirked proudly, was only a reassurance that her instincts were serving her quite well.

‘If I’m doing this well,’ She thought with a sigh, ‘I’ll find Thorin in no time!’

The pony snorted, jerked its head, and Hadaza patted it gently once more and chuckled.

“Let’s get you to a stable with some good grain and fresh water,” She offered as she tugged the pony along, “I think, just for a bit, we’ll rest a while before heading into the wilds around this place.”

*****************************************************************************************************************************  
He was doused in his own sweat and, wiping his brow, Thorin uttered a trembling sigh as he observed the wetness on his hand.

His wounded leg was stiff and swollen and, with a grunt, he acknowledged that the slightest movement caused unbearable pain to pass through his entire body for several seconds.

He was never going to see her again.

"I wish I could have seen her...one last time," He confessed as he closed his eyes, "Just one last time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to *MAJORLY* jump ahead...but just stick with me :-)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin dreams....or does he?

“H-Hada…. Hadaza!”

He was dreaming, he had to be, for he no longer felt the hard earth beneath him and He no longer heard the rustle of the wind through the trees.

In his dream, he lay somewhere soft and warm, beneath a welcomed blanket with his head propped up on a wonderfully fluffy pillow; and even his wounded leg ceased to hurt!

It was a fine dream indeed, Thorin thought, but then suddenly he found himself longing for only one person.

“Hadaza,” Thorin gasped again, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...”

Suddenly a cool cloth was laid across his forehead and a gentle, loving voice advised:

“Sleep…you’re safe now. Oin says you’ve a fever due to the infection that got into your leg…but after some rest you should recover fully.”

“Humph!” Thorin coughed, stirred, and at last nodded.

“A good dream,” He mused in husky voice, and She chuckled as she sat at his bedside.

A hand rested atop on of his own and she, Hadaza, revealed: 

“I found you three days ago…well, I actually found the pony first, but I was able to follow its path. I thought you were dead until I climbed down to you and felt your heart beating.”

Thorin shifted his shoulders, praying he wouldn’t wake, and he uttered softly: “I was devastated…knowing I would never see you again.”

Her hand tensed atop Thorin’s then and, though he couldn’t clearly see her, Thorin felt the dream image lean in close and press her lips to his cheek.

“Sleep,” Hadaza suggested again, “Hopefully tomorrow you can take some food.”

“Wait!” Thorin ordered as He sensed her rise from the bed, and he finally forced his eyes to open fully, “Wait…”

Even in his dream, He could barely make out her beautiful face and lovely green eyes, but Thorin used as much strength as he could to prop himself up one elbow.

She sat down again, His hand gripping her elbow, and she urged gently: “Rest, Thorin, you’re still feverish and it’s best that~”

Her words were stilled just as Thorin pressed his warm lips against hers for a long moment, She offered only a startled squeak, and when he ended the embrace Thorin lay back down with a weak thud.

“…My love…” Thorin whispered as a tear graced down his cheek.

Hadaza, watching Thorin sleep soundly once more, slowly rose so as to not wake the sleeping king again.

Hadaza’s heart was hammering in her chest just as Oin entered the room with a small bowl held his large hands.

“I’ve gotta get this salve on ‘is leg lass,” He explained, “Ye best go…did ‘e wake?”

Hadaza nodded slowly, Her eyes never leaving Thorin’s peaceful face, and she answered softly: “For a moment…he…He’s still a bit delirious. He thought he was dreaming.”

“Aye, it happens tha’ way,” Oin explained as he came to sit on the opposite side of Thorin, “Luckily ‘is fever is going down so he should become his old self in about a day or so and tha’s when we’ll head home.

Thank Mahal ye found ‘im when ye did girl! He was at death’s door!”

Hadaza offered only a nod and without a word turned and left the old healer to his task.  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
As she made her way to her own room, she was met by Dwalin in the hall way, and he offered her a quick nod just before he asked: “How is he?”

“Better sir,” Hadaza answered as she unlocked the door to her room, “Oin says Thorin should be back to his old self in a day or so.”

“So Ye should leave tomorrow,” Dwalin observed with a snort, “Don’t think just ‘cause ‘is leg is broke that he won’t find the strength to beat ye bloody when he realizes ye ran off against his sister’s orders!” 

Dwalin was joking, of course, so Hadaza only smirked and promised she would consider his advise just before closing the door behind her.

In truth both Dwalin and Oin had both been amazed with her bravery and success when they’d met up with her as she’d galloped back into Dunland to find help in getting Thorin out of the deep and narrow hole she’d found him laying unconscious in.

Dwalin had even remarked, after they’d retrieved Thorin and headed back to the Inn, that when their beloved leader recovered there was no telling how grateful and amazed He and the whole of Ered Luin would be upon discovering she’d saved Him from certain death.

At present, however, as she leaned against the door of her rented room, Hadaza cared little about that.

Delicately tracing her lips with her fingertips again, while she trembled uncontrollably, only one burning question repeated itself over and over again in her mind.  
****************************************************************************************************************************  
“Oh! Thank Mahal!”

Thorin offered a crooked, tight-lipped, smile at Dis as she dashed to the pony on which he sat.

“Hello, sister,” He offered softly, “Sorry to have kept you waiting…and worrying.”

“Thorin…your poor leg,” Dis was saying, just as Fili and Kili pushed themselves through the crowd, “How bad is it?” 

Thorin cleared his throat, offered a shrug and confessed: “It hurts very little now. Hada has done well in nursing me back to health.”

Dis turned and observed the young dwarf then; Fili and Kili as well gazed at her with eyes full of wonderment that accompanied grateful smiles.

“I…” Hadaza started to say as Dis came within inches of her, “I’m sorry…b-but I couldn’t-not after what happened to my parents-I just had to~”

She had expected many types of reactions from Thorin’s sister.

All of them angry, demoralizing and humiliating.

Yet Hadaza had never expected Dis to pull her into a tight hug, kiss her cheek, and thank her quickly before turning and heading back toward her still recovering older sibling to help him down from his pony.

Numb with shock, unsure of what to do next, Hadaza startled when Fili touched her shoulder and said:

“You’re a hero!”

“Oh…not really,” Hadaza argued as she watched Dis help Thorin into their home, “I just found him in time.”

“and because of it you’re a hero!” Kili laughed as he slapped Hadaza’s back roughly, “There’s going to be grand party thrown for you I just know it!”

“Oh…I hope not,” Hadaza chuckled then, allowing Fili to take her by the hand so that he could guide her through the grateful mass of dwarves and into the house.

“I’ve had…enough excitement for now.”

Fili’s face fell and, with his back to both Hadaza and His brother, a dangerous rage caused his heart to race and his head to swim


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few weeks of recovering at Home, Thorin notices and decides to confront Fili about his horrid attitude...bringing things to a head between himself and Hadaza.

“Thorin…you really should use the cane!”

“I can manage!”

“When last he visited, Oin, told you that you needed to use it so the bone could heal properly! You’re putting to much weight on your other leg, I can tell!”

Thorin limped over to his favorite chair, plopped down with a grunt, and offered Dis a dry laugh as he said: “I’m fine! I’m not one of your children you know!”

“Just use the cane,” Dis moaned with a smile, “Haven’t you noticed how moody Fili has become ever since you’ve started to use each of them as a crutch whenever you feel like hobbling around?”

Thorin smirked, ordering his sister to the kitchen to prepare the evening meal, and he slouched in his chair as he thought over the past few weeks.

Ever since Hadaza had braved uncertainty and saved his life, their small home seemed to be alight with never ending joy.

But there was a shadow, a surprising one that had been looming ever since he was brought back home, and Thorin sighed when he heard their front door open and close.

“Uncle,” Fili offered, entering the family room and beginning to remove his cloak.

“Nephew,” Thorin offered flatly, not surprised his heir apparent glared at him.

“Where’s mother?” Fili demanded, “Is she home?”

“She always is at this time,” Thorin snorted, “In the kitchen preparing dinner.” 

Fili sniffed, nodded, and began to head that way until Thorin bid him to stop.

To his growing agitation, Fili looked over his shoulder and asked rudely: “What?”

Thorin’s eyes narrowed, his mind rushed with anger, yet he warned in as calm a tone as he could muster:

“Your present attitude…is becoming rather tiresome!”

“Did mother say something?” Fili asked, almost enjoying how hard his uncle glared at him then, “Have I offended her?”

“You offend me!” Thorin spat loudly, causing Dis to peek her head out from the kitchen doorway, “What is wrong with you as of late? You’ve acted like some snotty bastard for the past few weeks!”

“Thorin!” Dis gaped, “Let’s not use such language!”

“Better a bastard than what you are!” Fili spat, and Dis was instantly in front of her son, her finger pointed inches before his nose.

“Stop that!” She ordered, “I don’t know what’s happened to you Fili but you’ve been quite detestable-like Thorin said-especially toward him and I am getting tired of it! You’ve even been mean to Kili and Hada!” 

“Is it my fault that I live in a household of idiots and-and thieves!”

Fili shot a heated glare at his uncle, whom rose unsteadily to his feet, just as Kili and Hadaza entered the room as well.

“Your uncle has done much for you and your siblings!” Dis began to argue, but Fili waved a hand at her and turned to go.

“I’ve only one brother!” Fili growled, ignoring Thorin’s demand that he remain, and then he turned his blue eyes upon Hadaza.

“Who is she supposed to be to me?” Fili asked coldly.

“Wh-what’s going on?” Kili asked, noticing that his beloved Uncle seemed ready to explode, and he looked desperately at his stunned mother.

“Mama?” Kili asked softly, “What’s happened?”

“Don’t you know?” Fili asked his little brother with a smirk, though his eyes remained upon Hadaza whose own eyes had filled with tears, “Why don’t you tell them Hada?”

She, Hadaza, wrung her hands nervously while her eyes bounced between Dis and Thorin and Kili.

“Fili…I swear that if you don’t stop…” Thorin seethed, “You-will-regret it!”

Huffing, shooting one last haughty glance at his infuriated uncle, Fili looked back to Hadaza and said with a disgusted laugh spat:

“Whore!”  
**************************************************************************************************************************  
“Don’t cry…He’s young…He didn’t mean it, sweetheart, it’s going to be alright!”

Fili had yet to return and, in his worry for him, Kili was finally given permission to go and seek his brother out after his pleas finally became too much.

While dinner had been prepared and the table was set, no one had yet eaten or even considered doing.

For now Dis was seated in her own chair across from Thorin who tried to soothe poor Hadaza.

The young girl had placed her head upon his knee, struggling to contain her sobs and tears.

Try as she might, struggling with her evening hobby of knitting, Dis at last gave an exasperated sigh and dropped her work into her lap.

It could no longer be helped, something had to be done, or their noble house would fall into the despair she’d been warned of years ago.

“Hada…is there something you need to tell us?”

“Dis,” Thorin mumbled as he stroked Hadaza’s soft hair, “I don’t think even she knows.”

However Hadaza sighed and, without bringing her eyes to Fili and Kili’s concerned mother, confessed: “He…likes me. B-but I told him…”

Hadaza’s voice faded and Dis sunk back into her chair, covered her mouth, and closed her eyes as she thought.

“I knew it!” She at last declared softly, and Thorin sighed heavily then.

“Dis,” He explained gently, “This isn’t her fault.”

Dis opened her eyes and stared hard at Hadaza for a moment or so before setting aside her knitting and rising to her feet.

“I know,” She admitted as she started heading toward her room, “I just…knew this was going to happen.”

“How do you mean?” Thorin demanded skeptically, but Dis didn’t answer and her brother watched her go until she disappeared into her bedroom.

“She’s mad at me,” Hadaza observed so softly that Thorin barely heard her, “She told me never to make a fool of her or Fili or Kili!”

“Oh darling you haven’t,” Thorin assured with a gentle chuckle, “As I said Fili is young…the two of you have always been close and-and he only became confused is all.”

“I hurt him though,” Hadaza mumbled as fresh tears welled in her eyes, “Because I told him that I couldn’t love him the way he wanted me too.”

“You did the right thing,” Thorin said as he resumed playing the troubled dwarf’s hair, “it would have hurt him far more if you lied and gave him your heart to only please him. Relationships-like the one Fili wanted-should never, never be forged out of…pity or convenience. Broken hearts do mend Hadaza…as will Fili’s, you’ll see.”  
“But he’s so mad now,” Hadaza pointed out with a sniffle, “and He’s treated you so badly because of it!”

Something woke in Thorin then, an astounding realization and his hand stilled once more.

Almost without thinking, His fingers then sought purchase under the dwarf’s chin, and he forced her eyes to look into his own.

His memory recalled Dunland, all the things he thought and…

“Mahal,” Thorin mumbled as he absently traced Hadaza’s lips with his thumb, “It was no dream, was it?”

Hadaza shook her head and remarked without looking at Thorin: “I just thought…I mean…you were so sickly. I asked myself over and over if you knew what you’d done…if you’d really meant it.”

“Hadaza,” Thorin breathed as his hand cupped the young girls cheek, “But you…a-at the well I thought…and I’ve raised you!”

It was so quiet and still in that moment that, Hadaza swore, she could feel and hear both of their hearts beating in solid and beautiful rhythm. 

“It’s not possible,” Hadaza admitted in a whisper as she ran a finger down Thorin’s bearded jaw, “to not love the one that saved you from death.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a confrontation with Fili, Thorin decides, that it would be better for all if he makes a drastic decision...one that threatens to destroy the one he loves most.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, I’ve read your journal!”

Breaking the kiss slowly, both Thorin and Hadaza sent their gazes to the doorway of the family room where Fili stood.

Thorin was the first to stand before, after he’d offered her his hand, Hadaza did.

“Hada,” Thorin advised, “leave us.”

“But,” The young dwarf started, only to be made silent by the exiled king’s hand upon her cheek.

“Go,” He urged, “it’s alright.”

Before she did, however, Hadaza looked at Fili and stated gently:

“For what it is worth…I’ve never, never meant to hurt you in any way.”

When she’d gone, shutting her bedroom door, Thorin wasted no time.

“You owe Hada, your mother, and me an apology!”  
Sniffing at the air for a moment, a sneer shadowing his face, Thorin then added: “not just for what you did earlier this evening…but because you’ve been drinking! And where is Kili?”

“Chatting up the bar maid,” Fili explained with sigh as he jutted his thumb over his shoulder, “Dwalin’s watching him.”

“Sit,” Thorin ordered as he re-sat him self, “We have to talk.”

“I’ll stand, thank you,” Fili countered, “but honestly I’d just like to go to bed!”

“Fili,” Thorin sighed, rubbing at his temple with a single finger as he thought, “This simply will not do!”

“You ruin everything…do you know that?”

Thorin stared hard at his oldest nephew for a long moment, absorbing what he had just stated, and finally he dared to ask:

“Do I? How so?”

Fili snickered and, using his fingers, began to give his examples:

“You took my father away when I was barely talking,” He began, “Poor Kili doesn’t even remember him and he never will and ever since then you’ve tried to take his place?”

Thorin pressed his lips together, saying nothing, and only waited for Fili to give his next slurred example.

“Nothing I ever do is good enough,” Fili continued, “In my entire life…you’ve always liked Kili more and all you do with me is tell me-show me-how…insignificant I am! You've always raised me to think of other's-our poor and down trodden people- before my self but LOOK AT YOU! You're so selfish that you don't even care that your ripping this noble family, that you say love more than your self, apart!"”

“Is that all?” Thorin demanded, casting his eyes to the floor, and slouching in his chair.

“No!” Fili spat as tears burned in his eyes, “You know it’s not!”

Pointing at Hadaza’s bedroom door, in a tight voice, his heir apparent declared:

“I love her…but she rejected me because of you! You got her parents killed just like you got my father killed…and she loves you more! You don’t even care that I have feelings for her! I know you know I love her because I know it was you that ripped the drawing I did of her out of my journal!

Face it, Uncle, my life-My mother’s and Kili’s too- was fine before you came around and asked Father to come away with you to Moria! And now that you’re here…your like a curse! You don’t even love Hada! I know you don’t! You’ll just end up wrecking her just like you wrecked us!”

“You seem to think me without a heart,” Thorin observed at long last as he brought his blue-grey eyes to his nephew, “That I feel nothing for any one.”

“You don’t!” Fili wept, “You don’t have a heart!”

His cheeks wet with tears, Fili wiped his nose with his cloak and with a grunt started to head to his own bedroom.

“Fili!” Thorin called out then, struggling to his feet once more, “Wait!”

Fili groaned, turned on his heels and faced his uncle one last time; his breath caught in his throat and his eyes went wide.

Taking a deep breath, a single tear rolling down his cheek, Thorin muttered softly: “I have a heart…one that cracks and bleeds daily…I would sooner die than have you feel the way I do.”

With another deep, thoughtful sigh Thorin swore:

“I will make right…all the wrongs you feel I’ve done to your and yours. I swear.”  
****************************************************************************************************************************  
HADAZA’S JOURNAL ENTRY:

He’s decided to send me away.

I tried to fight their decision but in the end Thorin got mad, so very mad, and even yelled at me.

Both He and Dis tell me it’s only for a little while, that it’s what’s best for now, but I see the way Dis looks at me.

She used to look at me that way before I brought Thorin back from the wilds of Dunland.

Her eyes are full of anger and bitterness again.

Stupid Fili! If not for him none of this would be happening! 

Thorin says Fili just needs time to think and that’s why I’m the one being sent off…not Fili, not Kili but me!

Thorin has assured me over the past few days that I will like it in the Iron Hills, staying with his cousin Dain, but I know I won’t. 

Not without him or any else from the Ered Luin residing there with me.

What really hurts, however, is when I asked if he would visit or allow me to come back and visit…he said nothing and excused himself to work.

That night…He seemed so sure about us. 

The way he kissed me..it was like he’d been waiting a lifetime to do it and now…now he just seems as unsure as he ever was.

…He won’t even look me in the eyes any more…  
****************************************************************************************************************************  
“Hada?” 

She closed her journal as soon as the door creaked open, and after she’d hidden it in it’s usual spot she invited him in.

“Have you finished packing?”

Standing in the center of the room and staring at him, Hadaza imagined, she was in a tense standoff with someone that had deeply wounded her. Betrayed her.

Clearing his throat, glancing about the room quickly, Thorin at last met the dwarf’s green eyes and explained:

“We’ll be leaving at first light…perhaps you should eat something before bed? It will be a long journey.”

Hadaza looked Thorin up and down, remaining silent, and waited until Thorin spoke again.

“It won’t be all that bad child, I know it won’t, Dain’s a good fellow and~”

“Child?” Hadaza asked with a look of disbelief, “You’re calling me a child?”

“Hadaza,” Thorin started, “There just needs to be some time…between you and Fili and when enough time has passed~”

“Why are you fighting it?”

Thorin pressed his lips together tightly, a wave of emotions coming over him, and he took several deep breaths before mumbling:

“I must!”

“But you don’t want to,” Hadaza pointed out, ignoring how Thorin uttered a frustrated groan and shook his head.

“You’ve always…even before that night…I know you!”

Thorin threw his hands in frustration, and when they slapped against his sides, he moaned:

“Why must you always argue?”

“Please don’t send me away!” Hadaza pleaded then, her voice tight and her eyes wet with tears, “I know you love me!”

“Yes!” Thorin barked through gritted teeth, “You know that just as I know you…that you feel the same. But it would be absolute ruin! There are more important things Hada! Far more important than our longing for each other! Do you not see that it is tearing this family apart? I cannot risk it! I am a king and my family…We must be strong or we will be unable to lead our people!”

A rogue tear flushed down Hadaza’s cheek and, though he wished to wipe it away like he had so many others through the years, Thorin only stood staring desperately at the heart broken dwarf.

“So…you choose your royal obligations over your own heart? You’re choosing to be a king in exile instead of being happy and…by my side?”

Thorin turned, gripped the door knob, and without looking at the weeping dwarf spat:

“Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weak chapter I know...basically Thorin knows he loves Hadaza but, seeing as his choices have upset his regal family....decided to maintain his kingly manner in order to keep his beloved family strong at the expenseof a heat broken Hadaza.
> 
> This ends the second part of my series, the third and final part will come up soon!


End file.
